Thursday, 20 March 2014

Confidence downfall

Hey lovelies

So there's something I've observed today which happens to me way too often.
It is the downfall of that confidence you build up for the past (forever).

What I'm trying to say is how self confidence isn't a strong point in many people's lives. It is that one thing that holds them back from so many opportunities and experiences out there in the world. Having low self confidence is an extremely common thing especially in teens. The way we see ourselves is just so harsh and can never compare to others.

This is not a advice post or how to post. It is more of a experience post which I hope you may be able to relate to as it has happened to me quite often.

Have you ever felt like you are becoming more and more confident with yourself -  that may take weeks or even months - but you get to a point where you are okay. You don't feel bad about yourself, you know, you can smile and feel like the world isn't as scary as you thought. All is good and you are able to do things without worrying about every single thing you do!

And suddenly...

One wrong move and you're back to square 1.
You literally go back down to where you started and it is the most frustrating thing yet cannot change anything about it.

Becoming confident with who you are takes several steps. It takes a lot of good things to happen to just advance by just a percentage, yet just ONE wrong move it just descends. It's almost as if you take so long building this glass and polishing it but with just one hit, you lose it all as it shatters right before your eyes. That is what it feels like to me.

Little story for you:

As you may have read my "confidence if key" post, you would've seen that lately I have been feeling quite confident in myself. Not over confident, but just enough to be comfortable in who I am.
Today at work, I made the mistake of forgetting to write a special requirement from a customer that is... no salad on their souvlaki. The man was after a lamb souvlaki with nothing in it except the lamb and garlic sauce.. okay!

The shop was quite busy at the time and I had people queuing from the counter to outside of the shop . I was in such a hurry to try and get all these orders taken that I had forgotten to write down on the ticket the special requirement! I know, that is so bad! The customer specifically told me what he wanted.

So I hadn't noticed at all until the phone ran about a half hour later with an angry man on the other end of the line. I picked up to him being quite upset at finding some salad in his souvlaki. Claiming that "they" wouldn't eat it as it has salad in it, made me realise what a big mistake I had made.

He asked that we make a new one which he will swap for what he got and this time to get the order right. He had also recognised my voice and knew that I was the one who took his order earlier. This made it so much worse.

I  completely understand how he was feeling and it was only fair to get it swapped. However it was my fault. I am the one who stuffed up his order and I felt terrible for it! Not only that, a souvlaki now when into the bin because of me.

I just can't help but feel awful about what might seem like a tiny thing to most people. It's just that whenever I do something wrong, I feel stuck. Like it hits me really hard and I am unable to think straight as I start to think and think and think about it! I know it makes no difference when you feel bad for something as it already happened and you can't change it. But it is just that feeling of... oh.. hold on... you're doing it all wrong.

That is when my downfall happened. I'm not sure whether it is just a small set back that may last for a few days or maybe made a dent into that confidence I once found in me.

I thought I'd share with you this little experience of mine because I know that it has happened to a few people I know and maybe you could relate to what I said.

Anyway, please do let me know in the comments if you have felt this way and whether it has happened to you! I kind of want this to be a platform where others can feel comfortable to share their experiences with me just like I am with you. I promise you I don't judge, I just want you guys to know that you're definitely not alone!

Lots of love, Karine xx


  1. i love that your post is so honest! i always do this.. two steps forward, 5 steps back! sometimes its hard to appreciate the good things in life! i'd love it if youd check out my blog and comment back xx

  2. Boy can I relate?! YES oh my goodness! LOL
    I worked at Wendy's(fast food place) for 2 years and I would always mess things up and I know it's my fault but sometimes people makes mistakes right? So I learned to not be so hard on myself after a few errors!
    I know what you're talking about Karine, when someone gets mad at me or something I completely stop and pause. I just go "wow..." because I can't believe it which makes me sad and all. But eventually I snap out of it, it's kind of a good reminder showing how much you actually care what people think of you and stuff!

  3. I think a lot of us can relate so much!
    Back and forth back and forth.

    Colourful Stuff | Beauty, Fashion, Life ♥

  4. I totally understand what you mean about building up your confidence over such a long period of time and then having it completely shattered. I think everyone's weakness is different, whether it be about socialising, looks, work, school, bad habits... But I also totally get that one incident like yours can just dump you in an utter slump.

    I have had bad days at work too. There was a time when a man conned me out of £20 and, especially working for a small business, I just felt so awful. I felt completed cheated and taken advantage of because I am young and female. I felt so ashamed telling my boss, but they were really lovely about it, which was so lucky for me otherwise that would have been another knock. It still made me dread going to work for my next shift, but it was just one of those things I had to do. A few months later, I was in a similar situation but with a woman trying to con me out of £10. I learnt from my past experience. I felt small and worthless, but I stood my ground and did not let that £10 out of my sight. I wasn't conned that day. Karine, you might feel awful at the moment, and it is horrible to know that you are in this slump, but everyone makes mistakes, and you will probably never make that one again. Were you being malicious? Was it intentional? No. It was an honest mistake and you are sorry for it - more than you should be. Whatever doesn't kill you makes you bloody well stronger and I really feel, believe it or not, that this experience will make you a much better, stronger, healthier person. Hoping you are upping your confidence soon. Rosemary X

  5. I'm so glad others can relate to this!

  6. Yes exactly! I guess it's really hard knowing that the stuff up was your fault. But yeah you're right, people makes mistakes so I shouldn't take it too personally!
    Thank you for this! It always makes it easier having others who understand! :) xx

  7. This made me smile so much! I cannot thank you enough for your kind words. It means a lot to know that I have others who support and understand how I feel! Thank you for this Rosemary! I really appreciate it! loveyou lots xxxxx

  8. I can definitely relate! I remember a time in 5th grade when a teacher yelled at me for not knowing that the U.S. President I did a project on was dead. Granted, I should have known the guy died quite a while ago. But the teacher really humiliated me in front of the entire class rather than just telling me I was wrong she made me go to a computer and show her the date he died. After that, I have been really afraid to talk to my teachers, I always felt dumb and stupid.

    But we can all regain our confidence, it just takes time and patience.



  9. Oh my goodness! That is terrible! No one should be treated that way! It would've been so tough! But you are right, it will take time but slowly we will realise that everyone makes mistakes and we will accept that sometimes we will fall but it's up to us to get back up and show others that we are not giving up. Instead we are learning from that experience for the better!! :) xx

  10. I totally understand how you feel. When I mess up something, especially at work, it can take a while to feel recovered. I try to take a bathroom break or find a quiet spot to myself as soon as I can and take a deep breath. I try to center myself. I acknowledge the mistake, think of how to fix it, and then think of some other way to succeed. I also try and put it in perspective with everything else and realize it's not world ending. Sometimes I still feel off for a while, or the whole day, but generally taking a moment to myself to calm down helps a lot. Everyone has a different way of coping though. Thank you for sharing your experience!

  11. Thank you for that Lauren! It's great to read that others can relate and yes we do have different ways of dealing with it all. I guess I was in that moment of panic and thought I'd quickly write it all down here! It is always best to take a deep breath in and take a moment to calm down! Great tips!! :) xx

  12. I feel you, that was so stressful for me, I wanted to sleep for a whole night after my work but I have responsibilities at home. :(

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