Tuesday, 18 April 2017

Letter O - O is for Open Letter

Dear You,

Never did I ever see myself writing to you, let alone the way I am right now. I got this sudden feeling that has left me wondering what it would be like if things were different. If that one unexpected change had not made distance the biggest factor in our lives.

But I guess that's just how life works. It does not allow us to rewind time or understand why things end up the way they do. It just keeps moving like a fast train at full speed with a destination known to only the driver. I wish I could get it out of him or at least convince him to slow down just so that I could come up with a solution but all this wishing just won't do. He's sat there refusing to tell anyone. Some may call him stubborn but most call him fate.

We can only control so much of our own life. How we interact with others, how we mask our own feelings, who we let in and what we do next but the rest is a mystery. You can try to find a way to beat the odds but even then, what are the chances it will go your way?

You tried so hard. I didn't have to look at you to know you did. You were patient and understanding but even after it all, we ended up here. Lost and confused.

But I get it. I get that things ended up the way they did for a reason. I cannot come up with a single reason why but it could not have been your choice to leave. I refuse to think you had the need to.

Call me selfish but I did not want you to go. I had plans. Plans that I'd hope you'd want to be a part of. But now, I am left on my own with a huge hole which I cannot seem to fix. It's so crazy when I think about it and to this day I cannot wrap my head around everything that has happened.

Your name does not seem to disappear. Ever. It echoes in my head especially on that day. It lingers around. Do you know that you are talked about a lot? I'm often told all the stories, stories of you and me. They will never be forgotten. Distance will not devalue the memories. I will not allow it.  

There are so many things I wish I could've said, so many memories I wanted to laugh about and places I wanted to revisit but a lot of it wouldn't make sense since I don't get to include you in the picture anymore. If only I knew how things would turn out. I would have earlier.

But now it's too late.

You left.


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